Experiment 1013
by See's Dentist
Summary: You asked for more funny insanity...so here it is!
1. Prelude To Insanity

* WARNING: The following is a teaser preview, meant to piss you off and have you beg for more - enjoy!*  
  
Preview Suitible For most audience  
  
COMING...PRETTY SOON, TO A WEBSITE NEAR YOU. THEY WERE JUST NORMAL OTAKUS UNTIL ONE DAY...  
  
Chiba Apey: I can't believ we're doing this.  
  
Tsukino Meiko: This isn't fair! I thought you were my friend, Tomo-chan!  
  
Sailor NorthStar: Don't make me gooooo!!!!!  
  
Takasei Tomoko: Alright! Enough whining! Everybody in the pool. *shoves thre inside dark portal, then clicks the button to seal them in* Have fun, minna!  
  
CHIBA APEY, TSUKINO MEIKO, AND SAILOR NORTHSTAR IN...  
  
"EXPERIMENT 1013 PART 1: CHANNEL SURFING"  
  
*Image on Screen: Dr.Tomoe's secret laboratory. Chiba Apey is dressed like a mad scientist and Sailor NorthStar like Igor.*  
  
CA: NorthStar, we must finish the experiment before the moon shines down!  
  
SNS: *slurred speech* Yes master! Of course! The plans! We must finish! *laughs*  
  
CA: Shut up, NorthStar.  
  
SNS:*normal voice* Sorry boss.  
  
CA: Now, throw the switch!  
  
SNS:*walks over to the wall* Yes master, the switch! *throws it*  
  
CA: Yes, YES! *We see image of Jupiter in a bubble getting her lightening zapped out. It flows to a machine which feeds it into the creature* Its alive! *Meiko w/ a Bride of Frankenstein hairdo sits up* Ha ha! They thought I was mad, but who's mad now! Ah hahahahaha!  
  
SNS: Dude, chill.  
  
Meiko: Its about time! I was getting claustrophobic under that sheet!   
  
*NorthStar opens her mouth to say something rude, but Apey stops her*  
CA: Its not worth it.  
  
SNS: No fair! *pouts*  
  
M: So, Mr. Speilberg, what do we do now?   
  
CA: Whaddo I look like? A freakin' genius?  
*****************  
THIS FANFIC HAS BEEN RATED PG-13 DUE TO LANGUAGE AND VIOLENCE  
  
This teaser has come to you courtesy of Drunken Senshi Inc., now with 50% more alcohol  
Audience: Wai! Wai! 


	2. Channel Surfing

AN: Okay, before you read you've gotta know a few things. IOS = image on screen, ***** = channel change. I don't own the log commercial idea. Its a spoof of Ren & Stimpy. I don't own Sailor Moon. I don't own Flipper. I don't own nuttin' but some fanfics! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!  
  
Location: A secret undercover space ship floating through the Milky Way. Inside, four women stand next to a dark portal.  
  
Chiba Apey: I can't believe we're doing this.  
  
Tsukino Meiko: This isn't fair! I thought you were my friend, Tomo-chan!  
  
Sailor NorthStar: Don't make me gooooo!!!!!  
  
Takasei Tomoko: Alright! Enough whining! Everybody in the pool. *shoves thre inside dark portal, then clicks the button to seal them in* Have fun, minna!  
  
*Inside the portal is a large black area. A screen w/ Tomoko's image is floating in front of the girls*  
  
TT: Konnichiwa, minna. Welcome to my experiment. It shall commence momentarily and you three shall be broadcasting live from the alternate dimension. And remember, there is no escape, so just relax and enjoy! *click*  
  
TM: Well, this is great. Just great!  
  
SNS: What kind of experiment IS this anyway?  
  
Computerized Voice: Irrashaimase, minna, to experiment number 1013, the Show. Experimentation shall commence in 5...  
  
CA: Oh crud.  
  
4...  
  
TM: What is it Apey-chan?  
  
3...  
  
CA: Is there anything to eat around here?  
  
2...  
  
SNS: I'm bord. Can that thing get cable?  
  
1...  
  
TM: Get your crash helmets ready.  
  
0. Begin*silence*  
  
CA: Was something supposed to happen?  
  
TM: I don't know.  
  
SNS: Hey! Look over there!  
  
CA: Oh my goody-ness. It is a bar.  
  
TM: Oh, run in fear! *TM&CA laugh* C'mon, I could use a drink.   
*The three go over and sit at the bar*  
  
SNS: I still think its fishy...  
  
CA: Why? I don't see Fisheye anywhere.  
  
TM: Oh Kami-sama! Don't make me picture that psycho drag queen! Ugh! Besides, this ain't the Dead Moon Bar.  
  
SNS: That's not what I mean! Number one, there's no bartender. *puff of smoke & Motoki appears*  
  
CA: You were saying?  
  
FM: What'll it be ladies?  
  
TM: Sake kudasai.  
  
CA: Dry vodka martini.  
  
SNS: Peach Bunny! *The girls look at her and sweatdrop* What?!  
  
CA: Forget it. *their drinks appear* Oh good, I was getting thirsty.  
  
SNS: As I was saying! Number two, where's the rest of the bar? I mean, we have the middle and three stools. Where's the rest? Where's the building?   
*Yet another puff of smoke and the rest appears*  
  
TM: *cough hack* Happy now?  
  
SNS: Well, its better anyway *pause* Hey! Isn't that Heero Yuuy?!  
*Heero is at the end of the bar surrounded by bottles. He flops over drunk*  
  
TM: Its Heero alright, and he's drunk off his ass.  
  
CA: Hey Heero! Wrong anime, man!  
  
TM: Let him stay. It doesn't look like he's getting up any time soon.  
  
SNS: Pointless cameo!  
  
CA: Okay, so where the hell are we?  
  
FM: Look around. *they look*  
  
TM: Well I'll be damned.  
  
SNS: Too late for that.  
  
CA: Its the Moon Bar and Lounge.  
  
SNS: But why are we here?  
  
TM: And why isn't anyone else? *crickets heard in background*  
  
CA: I don't know...Hey Motoki! Turn on the tv.  
*Motoki reaches up and turns it on*  
  
*IOS: SNS&TM at a desk w/ pictures of Sailor Galaxia in background*  
  
SNS: Konnichiwa minna!  
  
TM: Welcome to Galaxy TV.  
  
SNS: All senshi all the time! Enough pretty soldiers to rot your skeevy little minds...forever! *maniacally laughing*  
  
TM: Today's guest is Peruru.  
  
SNS: And he's bringing bon-bon babies! Yum!  
  
TM: NorthStar! Don't you dare eat the guests or I'll shoot a Silver Snpier Kiss where the sun don't shine.  
  
SNS: That sounds so bad...  
*camera focuses back on the three girls at the bar*  
  
TM: Oh kami-sama! Its syndication!  
  
SNS: Ack! That wasn't even a good episode!  
  
TM: I know, you ate the bon-bon babies!  
  
SNS: But they were so sweet and tasty! WAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!  
  
CA: Oh geez, shut her up, Meiko!  
  
TM: Its not MY fault she's a dumbass.  
  
SNS: WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!  
*three start fighting in a cloud of flying limbs, still arguing*  
  
*IOS: Bar is replaced with a wrestling ring. TM is at one corner, SNS at the other, CA is in the middle w/ a mic*  
  
CA: Welcome to The Senshi Fighting Federation. In the white corner we have the Hell's Angel, the pistool-whippin' schoolgirl, Tsukino Meiko's evil alter ego(as if she needs another ego) ...Nanoko!  
*spotlight shines on TM aka Nanoko in her white/silver/black sailor fuku & clear eye mask. Crowd cheers wildly*  
  
CA: And in the brown corner we have the tall terror, the bawling bitch, also known as the whiney whirlwind...  
  
SNS: Hey!  
  
CA: Sailor NorthStar.  
  
Crowd: wai.  
  
CA: Otakus and moonies, llllllet's get ready to rumble! *off to the side Pluto uses her time key staff to hit a gong BONG!*  
*up in the announcer booth we see mars and Jupiter*  
  
Mars: Well, let's get this thing started, Jupiter.  
  
Jup: Right, Mars. I can see the action taking place now. NorthStar has thrown an attack...yes, its the NorthStar Starburst!  
  
Mars: This is no time for candy!  
  
Jup: Shut up. ooo, Nanoko has dodged the attack and threw a knife from her boot. The Dark Moon Dagger.  
  
Mars: Yes, but NorthStar has jumped out of the way just in time.  
  
Jup: ooo, but Nanoko used this as an opportunity to throw her patented Moon Shadow Blackout attack, darkening the whole room.   
  
Mars: She must be warming up for something big, Jupiter.  
  
Jup: Mmmhmmm. As big as your ego.  
  
Nanoko: Deep Space Shadow Meditation!  
  
SNS: Ack! Shimatta!  
  
Jup: The darkness has now dissapted and...  
  
Mars: And NorthStar has been hit by Nanoko's attack.  
  
Jup: That Moon Shadow Sword of hers is pretty handy.  
  
SNS: Owwie*sprawled on the floor in pain* I hope my insurance covers this. MEDIC!  
  
Mars:Is there a doctor in the house?  
*Mamoru appears*  
  
Mamoru: I'm almost a doctor.  
  
Mars: Oh doctor, I have a pain...*leans on him*  
  
Mamoru: eep.  
  
Mars: Oh c'mon doc. Make me feel all better. *batts eyelashes*  
  
Mamoru: Jupiter, a little help here?  
  
Jup: C'mon Mars, none of that, now *lifts her up* Go burn soemthing *throws her away*  
  
Mars: AAAH!!!  
  
Mamoru: Arigatou.  
  
Jup: Don't mention it.  
  
SNS: Hell-o! I'm still in pain down here! Couldya give me a hand? *audience claps* That's NOT what I meant!  
  
CA: Shut up, NorthStar. Hey Nanoko, detransform and help me. *grabs SNS by the legs*  
  
TM: Sure, Apey-chan. *grabs SNS's arms*  
  
SNS: Hey! Where are you taking me?  
  
CA: To the next pointless scene.  
  
SNS: This is ludicrous.  
  
TM: No, calling ChibiChibi RiRi is ludicrous. This is stupid. *both walk off carrying SNS*  
  
*IOS: Usagi&Minako at a table looking bored*  
  
Announcer guy: Hey girls! Why so glum?  
  
U&M: We're bored!  
  
AG: Don't you have toys to play with?  
  
U: They're boring!  
  
M: Yeah, I'm sick of Sailor V.  
  
U: And I'm bored with bunnies.  
  
U&M: We need a new toy!  
  
AG: Well, why not try new log?  
  
U&M: Log?  
  
AG: Yes, log. *music starts*  
  
Chibi Senshi Chorus:  
Log rolls downstairs  
It rolls in pairs  
Rolls over your neighbor's dog!  
  
What's great for a snack  
And fits on your back?  
Its log Log LOG!  
  
Its looog!  
Its looog!  
Its big, its heavy, its wood!  
  
Its looog!  
Its looog!  
Its better than bad - its good!  
  
Everyone wants a log!  
You're gonna love it, log!  
C'mon and get your log!  
LOG!  
  
AG: New Log, from Blammo! *screen fuzzes out*  
  
*IOS: Dr.Tomoe's secret laboratory. Chiba Apey is dressed like a mad scientist and Sailor NorthStar like Igor.*  
  
CA: NorthStar, we must finish the experiment before the moon shines down!  
  
SNS: *slurred speech* Yes master! Of course! The plans! We must finish! *laughs*  
  
CA: Shut up, NorthStar.  
  
SNS:*normal voice* Sorry boss.  
  
CA: Now, throw the switch!  
  
SNS:*walks over to the wall* Yes master, the switch! *throws it*  
  
CA: Yes, YES! *We see image of Jupiter in a bubble getting her lightening zapped out. It flows to a machine which feeds it into the creature* Its alive! *Meiko w/ a Bride of Frankenstein hairdo sits up* Ha ha! They thought I was mad, but who's mad now! Ah hahahahaha!  
  
SNS: Dude, chill.  
  
Meiko: Its about time! I was getting claustrophobic under that sheet!   
  
*NorthStar opens her mouth to say something rude, but Apey stops her*  
CA: Its not worth it.  
  
SNS: No fair! *pouts*  
  
M: So, Mr. Speilberg, what do we do now?   
  
CA: Whaddo I look like? A freakin' genius?  
  
TM: All I know is there's a mess of really bored people out there watching us now.  
  
SNS: Maybe we should do a commercial?  
  
CA: We need to wait for people to ask to post an ad.  
  
TM: Yeah! Besides, we just did a commercial.  
  
SNS: But that was fake!  
  
TM: Fine! What's your brilliant idea?  
  
SNS: This *turns to camera* Friends, and you are my friends, how would you like to post an ad on the Galaxy TV Network? Any show! Just send me your info at: sailornorthstar@sailorjupiter.com under the heading AD. So come on down! Our operators are standing by.  
  
CA: NorthStar?  
  
SNS: Yeah?  
  
CA: You're a geek.  
  
SNS: Yeah.  
*Haruka walks on in a pink frilly tutu*  
  
Haruka: And now for something completely different!  
  
*IOS: Michiru swimming through the ocean*  
  
Chibi Senshi Chorus:  
They call her   
Michiru!  
Michiru!  
Michiru!  
Faster than lightening!  
***********************  
  
*IOS: Makoto in front of a building*  
  
Makoto: C'mon down to Makoto's fine dining and flower shop! We have the best food and flowers around, but don't take my word for it - here's one of my customers!  
*tuxie walks on*  
  
Tux: Konnichiwa, minna. Oh yes, I always come to amkoto's for my floral needs. take it from me, Tuxedo Kamen. *smiles & gives victory sign* Makoto's Ichi Ban!  
*************************  
  
Moon: Sailor Moon Says, watch dubbie anime! Teehee!  
  
Audience: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!  
*************************  
*screen goes black*  
*Click click*  
TM: Kuso, NorthStar, you broke the remote!   
  
SNS: Me? Speak for yourself Madame Channel Surf!  
  
TM: Why you chibibaka!  
  
CA: Hey hey hey! Knock it off you two! We've gotta fix this!  
  
SNS: How?  
  
TM: The fusebox you baka!  
  
SNS: Well, yeah. Take the easy route will ya!  
  
TM: I suppose you have a better suggestion?  
  
SNS: Use Jupiter!  
  
CA: We can't, we've used her too much already!  
  
TM: Yeah, if we keep this up we'll have a bunch of torch & pitchfork weildin' Jupiter fans chasing us.  
  
SNS: I suppose. Alright, in that case I'll look at the fusebow. *clanking noises* Hey meiko, help me a sec.  
  
TM: What is it?  
  
SNS: Hold this wire like so...and this one thusly...*flips a switch*  
  
TM: Yeaargh! *lights come on to a fried Meiko*  
  
CA: Dang, meiko, I didn't know your odangos could stand up like that!  
  
SNS: You leard something new everyday.  
  
TM: NorthStar, I'm gonna kill you!  
  
SNS: Ack! Apey! Hide me! *runs off*  
  
TM: You can run but you can't hide, NorthStar! *chases after her*  
  
CA: *sweatdrops* Oh dear. *points remote at screen CLICK*  
****************************  
  
*IOS: The senshi dressed as Rocky Horror Picture Show characters*  
  
Haruka: Its astounding...time is fleeting...madness takes its toll.  
*FAST FORWARD*  
  
Senshi: Let's do the time warp again!  
  
Pluto: Its just a jump to the left.  
  
ALL: And then a step to the riiiight!  
  
Pluto: Put your hands on your hips.  
  
ALL:And bring you knees in tight! But its the pelvic thrusts, that really drive you insaaaane! Let's do the time warp again!   
*************************  
  
Usagi:   
One pill makes you larger  
And one pill makes you small  
And the ones your mother gives you  
Don't do anything at all.  
*************************  
  
AMI: Let the Pokemon Battle begin!  
  
MINAKO: Artemis, I choose you!  
  
ARTEMIS: You've gotta be kidding me!  
**************************  
  
*IOS: Mamoru, Usagi, Luna, Ami, & Mina in the Mystery Machine. A youma jumps out*  
  
Ami: Jinkies! A youma!  
  
Mina: Zoinks! That's, like, too scary for me, man.  
  
Usagi: mamoru, make love to me.  
  
Mamoru: Okay!  
*************************  
  
Hotaru: I love you, you love me, let's team up and KILL Barney!  
************************  
  
*IOS: TM in Braveheart make-up*  
  
TM: That's it! They can take our spotlight, but they can never take our FREEDOM!!!!!!!  
  
SNS: Kill the Chibi Senshi Chorus! *unrully mobs charges forward*  
  
CSC: EEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*run away*  
*************************  
  
CA: Ugh! That's it! I can't take it anymore! *sob* Make it stop! *throws down remote*  
*tv w/ Tomoko's image reappears*  
  
TT: So, had enough?  
  
CA: Well, duh! That's why I'm yelling to be freed.  
  
TT: Where are the other two?  
*camera pans to Braveheart battle field*  
  
TM: We're down here!  
*camera pans down to TM*SNS lying on the ground*  
  
SNS: That Chibi Senshi Chorus really packs a punch.  
  
TM: I hurt all over.  
  
SNS: So much for our fearless leader.  
  
TM: I'm a villain! Not freakin' Mel Gibson!  
  
TT: I think you guys deserve a break.  
  
TM: I have plenty already, thank you.  
  
SNSL Demerol! Demerol, kuso!  
  
TT: Suck it up ya big baby!  
*****End Part One****  
  
AN: Want more? REVIEW!!!!! I won't write the sequel if I don't get reviewed. 


End file.
